Welcome to Football Idol, FM-Britain’s FM09 experiment in which we will aim to parody Pop Idol and the X-Factor by granting a player blessed with mediocre talent the chance to become his nation’s first choice striker. For life.

That’s right, the lucky, talentless plurk (who you will have the honour of selecting via the poll in this topic) who becomes Football Idol will be handed a permanent, almost unconditional starting place in the England team as first choice striker. What will the outcome of this be? Good question. Hopefully we will be able to answer some of the following questions:

• How will being England’s #1 striker affect the young player’s career? Will he rise through the divisions, for fees and wages that are vastly disproportionate to his level of talent, or will the AI see through our bluff and he’ll stagnate at lower levels?
• Will playing with and training among the best that England has to offer improve his game, or is he destined to be a useless player for life?
• Will he come near to Bobby Charlton’s goal-scoring record, showing up Lineker et al as over-rated, or will he fail to hit the net in a manner reminiscent of Emile Heskey at his worst?
• Will he break the all time record for caps?
• How will his career (in terms of goals and appearances at club level) compare to those of the players you don’t select?

Of course, in order to guarantee that our boy is selected for the team it’s necessary to install someone on the inside, after all I don’t think Capello will be picking our chump for his team anytime soon. Meet Nep O’ Tism, FM-B’s under cover agent, a man with a single minded determination to ensure that the experiment works. Nep will select our donkey for every squad that the player is passed fit for. Furthermore, he will play the muppet in every game in which his starting condition is over 75%. Nep will only sub the player if he is forced off through injury or his condition falls below 50%. He will also install him as first choice penalty and free-kick taker - regardless of any lack of talent in these areas.

All that remains is for you to select our Football Idol. Feel free to view the players via the links below before voting in the poll. Choose wisely, this guy may will be the nations great hope for the next 15-20 seasons - success at the Euros or World Cup may depend on your choice…

Head on over to this thread to vote for your man. Please note, you will need to be a registered FM-B member to vote.